Rest can sound simple until you try to make room for it in a busy life.
For many mothers, something always needs attention. Even when you finally get a chance to sit down, it can be hard to properly switch off because your mind is already thinking about what comes next.
How much space you have for rest can also depend on the stage of motherhood you are in. As children grow older and become more independent, it may become easier to take some time for yourself. With younger children who need constant supervision, that can be much harder, particularly for diaspora mothers living away from family and friends who might otherwise provide support.
That is why simply telling mothers to “make time for themselves” isn’t always helpful. Rest has to fit the reality of your life. Sometimes it may come in small pockets: sitting down while the children are occupied, going to bed a little earlier or simply deciding not to fill every free moment with another task. Rest does not only count when you have hours to spare.
One way to create a little more breathing room is to stop treating everything as urgent. Look at what genuinely needs your attention and what can wait. Leaving a few things for later is not about lowering your standards; it is about accepting that not everything needs to be done at once.
It is also worth thinking about what actually leaves you feeling rested. Having half an hour free does not necessarily help if you spend it worrying about tomorrow or mentally working through your to-do list. Sometimes what you need may be sleep, quiet, fresh air, time alone or simply the chance to switch off for a while.
There is no perfect routine for rest, and what works for one mother may not work for another. The more useful approach is to notice when you are running low and make small adjustments where you can. That might mean asking for help, saying no or allowing something to wait.
Sometimes rest alone does not feel enough. If you are persistently overwhelmed or feel you need more support, reaching out can be an important next step. In the UK, organisations such as PANDAS Foundation support mothers and parents. In Nigeria, organisations such as Great Imperfect Mums Foundation also provide support, practical resources and opportunities for mothers to connect.
Rest will not remove the demands of motherhood, but it can make them feel more manageable. The aim is not to do everything perfectly, but to recognise when you need to slow down and give yourself some space too.
